“Habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
I can often identify if my neurodivergent self is stressed out by the sheer amount of screen time I’m consuming.
I’m a late diagnosed autistic. I’m still learning how to identify what I’m feeling and notice said feelings before they hit a 7. It’s hard to regulate your stress if you aren’t totally aware of it in the first place. Recently I’ve started to notice the pattern; stress leads to more screen time; excess screen time leads to more stress.
This blog post is about my personal experiences and is not professional medical or mental health advice.
As a child, my escapism was my imagination; daydreaming up stories and acting them out. Later it was devouring books instead of doing schoolwork (algebra could wait, I needed to know how Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ended). When I acquired my own laptop and near unlimited screen time as a late teen, I binge watched YouTube until 3 am. Now I binge and rewatch my comfort shows, sometimes all day. While I don’t think there anything wrong with finding comfort from these things, it has become a bit of a problem.
Mainly the frequency is interfering with day-to-day life. It’s hard to do things (like writing this blog post) while my brain is craving the next episode of a show. To watch it right now would feel so good; but I’ve already watched an entire season today.
It’s also a short term escape from stress and just delays what what needs to be delt with. The moment I turn off my tablet the feeling of numbing bliss turns to wanting more, all while being stared at by a growing to-do list. Plus, it doesn’t just put off doing important things to the last minute, it sucks up time better spent on my interests.
If binge watching was a full-time job, I would be set for life.
But why do I need escapism at all? From sensory sensitivities, forcing eye contact, to fears of contamination and random death, life has been inherently uncomfortable and confusing for me. But now that I’m aware of it, I have a chance to change and adapt to my needs instead of cramming myself into box.
I would love to know what your early signs of stress are and what (hopefully healthier) strategies for relief you use.
I take a lot of photos of my aquarium, like my phone is always running low on storage amount. I had a small bout of the burnout and didn’t keep up with maintenance besides the essentials. Now that I’ve caught up, I want to organize my photos and have a place where I can see my progress.
This is after I gave the plants a big trim, so I could see what I was doing. I want a wild jungle look, but first I want to direct the plants to grow in the places I want them to. Think organized chaos. I’ve been trying to grow plants out of the top, but I don’t have a good way to attach them. Especially since I keep the water level lower for my mystery snail Steve.
May 6
I started my testing my water parameters. I don’t do this often, my tank is very stable. I’ve checked these strips against the API freshwater test kit. I just want to check that the nitrates are low enough before I start.
I’m starting by moving this sword plant; it’s a little too crowded. Bob the Bladder is there too, overseeing the operation.
I’m working slowly and carefully to try and not kick up too much mulm.
Took a break to check on the snails; Bob is my first bladder, all the rest are their children. Steve is in the corner, safely out of the way waking up from a nap.
I went around and removed some algae. My java moss has always been covered in hair algae. I was getting tired of cleaning it, so I removed most of it. I accidentally uprooted some plants and switched to using my hands.
I wanted to make space for the sword plant so I removed some others.
And I put the Sword plant in.
This took me almost an hour. I was getting tired and my back sore. So I put in some food and called it a day. I popped the non-aquatic plants back in the aquarium, I was too brain tired to figure out where else to put them.
May 7
I want to move these plants to the middle. I’m going to start by propagating them.
I added root tabs. I like to break them up first; this time the floor did that for me.
Next thing I need to do is clean my pre-filter sponge.
As I took it out a bunch of stuff fell off…
After I rinsed it (I liberated any bladders, and used it to water my houseplants).
I took another break and now I can do some detailing. I used a toothbrush to scrub off the hard water build-up, picked up floating plant bits, and cleaned the inside glass with a magnetic algae scrubber.
After cleaning the outside glass with vinegar, topping up the water, and adding liquid fertilizer this is where I’m at
May 13
There’s some build up at the front that doesn’t look good. Normally, I leave mulm in as plant food, but I don’t have plants at the front to use it. I covered my aquarium turkey baster with a net to prevent bladder snail abductions
I pulled up the rest of the plants in the front, and moved the healthiest ones next to the Rotala indica and removed some new Vallisneria pups.
I rinsed my pre-filter sponge again, topped up the water, and added liquid fertilizer. Here’s the next day (the skewer is holding some spinach for the snails).
May 20
I’ve started researching what critters would fit nicely in this setup. I might get shrimp and some sort of small fish, I just need to find creatures that are all compatible together and with my tank parameters.
I’m really happy with how the java moss is growing on the wood. I didn’t do much today; just trimmed melting leaves.
My motor was making a grinding noise so I took it apart and clean it.
May 27
I came back from a small trip very tired. I wanted to clean the glass today, but I was too exhausted to. Here’s how it was when I got home (I left some spinach for them while I was gone)
I got set-up with my towels and tools, then I couldn’t find my plant trimmers anywhere! It was infuriating! I looked all over the room and even wondered if someone had borrowed them. I knew they were there earlier. Yes they were, I left them on top of the aquarium… to remind me to do maintenance (boy did that word need a spell checker!). But they’re black; black objects live in the void and no longer exist in this realm.
I gave some plants a little trim, to keep them from blocking the light from the neighbouring plants that I want to grow. I had a bag of river rocks, so I’m now experimenting with using them to keep the plants contained. Though I know it’s going to take me awhile to get the knack of hardscaping. I also pulled out some algae and more Vallisneria that was putting pups where I didn’t want them yet. I also added some more liquid fertilizer and added more water.
May 27
Here are some slideshows of the tank’s growth.
I’ve done a lot of research and I think I’m going to get some red cherry shrimp. Shrimp were the original special interest that led to this aquarium. I also think I’m going to look for a lid, because topping up the evaporated water all the time is starting to get old. My goal is to have as low maintenance an aquarium as possible.
In 2024 I got some cash as a Christmas gift and decided to spend it making an aquatic vase. I had been long developing an intense special interest in shrimp keeping. But, I had never had an aquarium before and read snails were more hardy, and easier to start with.
I spent hours watching videos, reading forums, and looking at setups of Walstad method tanks. I had a 1 gallon vase and decided to try it.
I started with plain potting soil and capped it with aquarium gravel. I went to the pet store and got some java moss and bought a small clip on USB light. I tried tying the moss with clear thread to a rock.
The vase is bigger then it looks because distortion.
I tested the water over the next month with test strips. They showed the tank had cycled, and my tap water parameters were great for keeping snails. After some research, I got some more plants and a Mystery Snail; a choice I later regretted. (Thatsounds way too ominous, no mystery snails were harmed in the making of this vase!)
“Steve The Poop Monster”, at only 2cm the little lad took over his new realm nicely. He hid for several days before exploring.
The vase stayed nice for the next few months, and I tried adding 3 shrimp. Unfortunately, within 2 weeks they had died. I also was reading a blog for aquatic snails, which I then found out they recommended a tank of at least 2-3 gallons per mystery snail. I immediately ordered a 3 gallon online to start over and fix several issues that were forming.
The Problems:
The plants started rotting at the base. Steve dug them up to eat the rot. The java fern developed galls and the growth stunted.
The proteins from the rotting plants and lack of water movement made scum build up on the surface.
The light I was using wasn’t powerful enough.
Plants kept floating away and they had a potassium deficiency.
My tap water had 0.40 ppm ammonia in it. I didn’t detect it when doing tests because the bacteria had cycled it. But these spikes probably caused the shrimp deaths.
Steve was growing quickly and I was worried the tank couldn’t handle his bioload, plus I think he was bored.
The Solutions:
I put a layer of sand before the gravel to help anchor the plants betters. I replaced the struggling plants and replaced them with different ones.
I used root tabs and liquid fertilizer to fix the potassium problem.
I got a stronger light.
I used a sponge filter to create surface flow and filter the scum.
I got a new water conditioner to bind the ammonia into a less harmful form until the bacteria could process it.