I have OCD and in my experience it can show up as the weirdest things. I’m also Autistic and likely ADHD, so it can be hard to tease apart and categorize my behaviours. Not that everything needs to (or should) be pathologised and categorised; it just helps me find the words to express myself.
For a while I thought it might be a stim. For me, stimming is soothing. I feel my emotions very physically, and stimming helps me move them out of my body (if that makes sense). But stimming feels good and this teeth clicking doesn’t.
When I tried finding information on this compulsion, there wasn’t really much. Once I found out I likely had OCD, I tried asking about it in a forum. And yes! Other people have this compulsion too. Like me, they also didn’t know of anyone else with it.
I am not a doctor, therapist, or mental health professional. Everything in this post is based on my own personal experiences and opinions. It is not medical advice. If you think you’re struggling with OCD or any mental health issue, please speak to a qualified professional.
For at least a decade, I’ve had this overwhelming urge to click and grind my teeth. If I try not too, I end up biting my cheek, tongue or clenching my jaw. I feel very uncomfortable in my chest, around my collar bone, and in my arms (as said before, I feel emotions physically, and also have a difficult time identifying them). If I had to choose I’d say it makes me anxious and stressed.
For me, this is combined with a specific counting ritual. I am very aware of any squares and rectangles within my space. As a teen, my room had a wall which divided into a group of 6 squares. I followed this pattern:
- I start from the largest square and I click each corner, starting bottom right, to top right, bottom right to left. (e.g. the entire wall)
- I repeat the pattern going down 1 size of square. (e.g. the wall minus the base board, then minus the window frame)
- I repeat this until I reach the smallest one, count that one twice, then work the pattern from smallest to biggest.
- I repeat the whole process until it feels “right”.
The problem is the relief is temporary. If I mess up the pattern, I have to start all over again. Overtime the urge builds up again and it feels deeply unsettling not to do it.
There is a wall in my bedroom that currently has a set of 12. 12 x 4 is 48. Do that a minimum of 3 times (usually more) and that’s 144 clicks. Now think about the number of rectangles in your computer, tablet and phone screen.
Also road signs! I feel the urge to click every road sign I see (which sure makes road trips interesting!). I also click the tiles of my bathroom floor in rows of 7. At the end of the day I’ve clicked and gritted my teeth hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Sometimes I’m not really aware that I’m doing it until someone asks “What’s that clicking sound?”.
This wasn’t too problematic at first, but it got to the point of having tooth and jaw pain. I tried stopping on my own and I ended up biting my tongue, cheeks, and clenching my jaw all the time.
The good news is it has gotten much better. With medication and therapy, the urges have faded a lot. They’re still there, but the feeling is mostly tolerable. I still click my teeth, but not nearly as much.
My Neurospicy Soup 